We talk a lot about men and women and the dynamics between them in relationships. But I don’t think we’ve talked about it like we do in this episode. Today’s show is inspired by a few conversations with friends and one in particular with my boyfriend. He had a call with a community group and was surprised to hear from black women that they often feel they’re at the bottom of the societal totem pole.
I was shocked to hear that he’d never heard that sentiment before. So I wondered why that might be the case, and I get my dad’s take to see if he feels the same way. We also debate the “supportive role” that women are expected to play, how history and perspective contribute to conditioning people this way, and how everything going back to what we saw and experienced as children plays its part. Additionally, we briefly touch on the concept of black male privilege and discuss why therapy needs to be a regular part of people’s lives.
This conversation continues next week where we’ll discuss how men might perpetuate the feeling and experience of black women being at the bottom of the totem pole and dive deeper into patriarchy and black male privilege specifically (something men with daughters especially need to acknowledge). But for today, we hope you enjoy what you hear. If you do, let other people know by writing us a review and rating our podcast on Apple with five stars. And if you haven’t already, make sure you hit the subscribe button so you won’t miss a single episode!
In this episode:
[02:53] – Does Pops think that women care for, prefer, or help men more than themselves? He sees a generational difference.
[05:00] – However, Brittney has a different perspective. She sees the rise of self-care as a priority among women today, especially of her generation.
[06:07] – In history, even as recently as the 60s and 70s in the U.S., women have needed men in order to do certain things.
[08:30] – Pops feels that a lot of women fall into the characterization of being subordinate instead of the stronger woman behind a strong man.
[10:03] – What’s Pops’ perspective on why women still fall into that stereotype?
[11:31] – Brittney believes that patriarchy at its finest is the fact that so much of history is written from the perspective of men.
[13:11] – If women created the laws, Pops doesn’t think we’d have as many problems as we do now.
[15:05] – Black male privilege is a thing that isn’t really recognized. Plenty of men don’t see the power they have in society that black women don’t.
[18:03] – For Brittney, black women with a son or in a relationship are more likely to nurture and prioritize men more than themselves.
[19:50] – Pops doesn’t believe the nurturing phase should go on forever. It’s seasonal and once it’s over, it’s over.
[21:16] – Brittney discusses the ego’s close relation to the unfulfilled needs of the inner child.
[22:46] – Even if you don’t realize it, childhood patterns and other things you learned and saw from your parents play a part in your relationships all the time.
[23:55] – You can’t view this type of conversation from one specific lens. Several things can play into how we get along.
[25:51] – Brittney stresses the need for therapy to be a normal part of society, like getting a physical exam every year.
[28:43] – Pops shares that he’s been wanting to do therapy and encourages others to think about going too.
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