I have this theory that men don’t like to be challenged. I believe I ask questions of men that they find uncomfortable, challenging, or just different–questions they’re not expecting or even ready to answer. Based on my experience, I think some of my questions have caused men to shut down conversations I’ve tried to start.
What’s at the root of it, though? In today’s episode, I discuss this with Pops and harken back to the book I mentioned last week. We talk about how differently men and women perceive unsolicited advice and approach problem-solving. We also touch on how growing older or getting deeper into the relationship can give you a new, more mature perspective of it all.
How has Pops’ perspective on this topic changed from when he was younger? What have I discovered I need to work on when it comes to how I approach giving advice to my partner? Get our views on these questions and more as we dive into the communication challenges experienced between men and women in relationships.
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In this episode:
[02:22] – Brittney asks Pops about how she challenges him.
[04:52] – When faced with tough or uncomfortable questions, men who seem to shut down just aren’t ready to face their truth.
[07:41] – Brittney reveals where she believes she’s found issues in her communications with men.
[08:47] – Brittney presents Pops with an example to determine how he’d feel getting unsolicited advice from a lady friend.
[09:45] – Where else does Pops not appreciate receiving unsolicited advice?
[11:58] – To establish household rules from the ground up, Pops thinks that when people move in together they should (if financially feasible) move into a totally new place.
[14:37] – Does Pops agree that men’s modus operandi is to offer solutions?
[16:42] – Women can ask men questions in the wrong way. Painting it as “I” versus “we” makes a difference.
[18:17] – Sometimes women just want to vent their problems without the need for men to present solutions.
[19:49] – Brittney reveals the eye-opening revelation she had about her approach to asking challenging questions.
[21:40] – There’s a technique in relationships to re-frame how to approach advising men in a way that doesn’t put them on the defense.
[23:37] – When he was younger, Pops wasn’t about doing the necessary work in relationships. He’s still a work-in-progress.
[25:49] – Men only want advice when they ask for it. Pops emphasizes this with a simple, everyday example.
[27:19] – Pops describes the different approaches to shopping taken by him and his current partner.
[29:37] – In time, partners don’t have to work as much on adjusting to each other in their relationship.
[32:29] – Some people don’t recognize their problem or issue, and that’s the bigger problem.
Links and Resources:
Summary of Men are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by John Gray
@GirlTalkWithPops on Instagram
Girl Talk With Pops on Facebook
Girl Talk With Pops on Apple Podcasts
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